We're Not Raising Children--We're Raising Adults Going Through Childhood

My friend Tony is a nice guy. He is compassionate, patient and has a genuine love for people. So when he started criticizing a certain type of parent the other day, it got my attention.

He recently moved back to Chicago and was struck by the prevalence of parents—moms, in particular—who mislabeled their young children’s behavior. Rather than calling it for what it is, they shrug it off as kids doing what kids do.

While he was eating at a restaurant, explained Tony, a boy of about four years old in the adjacent booth reached over and began rapping on Tony's head. Not a cute and cuddly love tap, but a fistful of knuckles kind of assault.

To Tony’s amazement, that mom didn’t apologize or correct her son. Instead, she chalked it up to the boy “exploring the world.”

My kids have never violated people's personal space. And they certainly have never gotten physical with strangers. I thought about this, and why that was so, and the answer is simple: my husband and I would never allow their actions to go that far.

Our children are certainly not perfect. We've had lots of "teaching moments." But that's just it--we recognize the need to correct, while some other parents merely excuse their children's behavior because, well, that's what they see from other, similarly uncorrected 4-, 5-, 6-, 9-, 12-, and 15-year olds.

Someone who has made a great impact on our parenting approach is Greg Duncan, a Triple Diamond in the Amway Business and one of the leaders of World Wide Group.

In relating how he and his wife, Laurie, raised their own two children, now in their 20s, Greg has said, "We're not raising children. We're raising adults going through childhood."

Love that! Not that I'm rushing my kids into premature adulthood. My kids are kids. They play, they laugh, they do kid things. But as they do, my husband and I are treating them as individuals going through a stage in their lives.

The goal is to help these adults-going-through-childhood prepare so that they can make a successful transition to that next phase.

In NurtureShock, authors Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman reveal how, collectively, American parents have abdicated our responsibility to actually raise our children.
Instead, kids are left learning life skills from one another. (Question: Do you think this dynamic plays a role in all the bullying making headline news?)

The result is that we have poorly behaved youngsters who don't "get it" until they are in their 20s. And by then, they have developed bad habits that are tough to shake.

There's a lot more to raising a child than feeding, clothing and housing them, and making sure their homework is done. Restraining your adult-to-be child from pummeling the guy in the booth next to you? That's a good start.

Jan Severn: Amway Legend Dies

A thoughtful obituary has been written for Jan Severn.
(Jan Severn obituary)

So rather than try to duplicate something that accurately captures her essence, instead I just want to say "Thank you" to her and her husband, Dave Severn.

I know Dave and Jan Severn through the Amway business. They are considered legends with Amway, known by many around the world, particularly because of Dave's classic "Pigs Don't Know Pigs Stink" talk.

I have been fortunate enough to have them in my specific "line of sponsorship" spending dozens of hours with them over the years.

Jan was a gem. A lovely woman. She had a kind and gentle spirit about her that was instructive to this not-as-kind and not-as-gentle woman.

Jan, I look forward to seeing you again someday.

And Dave, I lift you up in prayer for comfort. Your overflowing love for and commitment to your wife of 42 years was awe-inspiring.

ARTISTRY Intensive Skincare Renewing Peel: Video Dynamically Captures Its Face Value

For years, I've been a passionate believer in ARTISTRY products. But that doesn't mean I've checked my skepticism at the door.

That's why, when I began using ARTISTRY intensive skincare renewing peel in April, I applied the product only to the right side of my face.

I wanted to see if the twice-a-week applications would create a noticeable difference.

Over the first several weeks, every time I examined my face in the mirror to try to decipher any improvement, I grew increasingly bummed. I really wanted this product to work, and yet week after week I was disappointed by the apparent lack of results.

That is, until a few days ago.

Sony bloggie Touch

I was playing with my new tech toy, a Sony bloggie, by taking a bunch of quick videos throughout the day. After my family grew weary of being my guinea pigs, I turned the camera on myself. And when I watched those clips, I was taken aback by the difference between the left and right sides of my face.

So dramatic was the contrast that I marched into the bathroom and immediately started using the renewing peel on my entire face, hoping the untreated side would "catch up" soon.
 
The reflection of light off your face plays a major role in your skin's appearance. Moving pictures dynamically enable you to see how light hits your face at different angles. Therefore, video and film more accurately capture this product's results than a flat medium like a photo or peering straight into a mirror.
 
So why did I want to use this product and how does it work?
As we age, we need a little help. Exfoliation, or the sloughing off of old dead skin cells so that the new healthy ones can rise to the surface, slooooows down. The result: dull, drab skin.

A peel resurfaces your skin, and makes it smoother, fresher, younger, more vibrant. 

I wanted these results, but I wasn't interested in spending a small fortune (professional chemical peels can run up to $350 a pop). And frankly, I'm scared of any invasive procedure, particularly on my face.
That's why I chose ARTISTRY's renewing peel.

At the 3:12 mark in the news program clip below, Kelli Miller, ARTISTRY Brand Manager, explains how the renewing peel works.

She says the renewing peel uses a gentler exfoliation ingredient (mushroom enzyme instead of acids) and "knows" via your cells' pH level which ones to exfoliate (the old ones) and which to leave alone (the new ones). This minimizes the risk of overpeeling or irritation.

I like the simplicity of ARTISTRY's renewing peel:
*convenience--use at home, any time
*one product, rather than other brands that require two
*fast--eight minutes
*no worries about over-exfoliating (I know someone who sleeps with this product on at night)
*price--less than one-third the cost of clinical peels

If you're a skeptic like me, I encourage you to do only half your face. But learn from my experience and don't rely on the mirror. Videotape yourself, moving your head from side to side. Allow six weeks of application, two or three times a week, to see the effectiveness.

Lastly, if you aren't happy with the results, ARTISTRY products, like all products exclusively from Amway are backed by a 180-day money-back satisfaction guarantee. Love that!

Counting The Cost: Bandwagon Marketing Versus Authentic Core Values

I broke down this week and am now a card-carrying  Costco Member. Yep, these gas prices have risen to such a point, that Costco's lower prices have lured me in.

So after I became a "club member" I thought I'd venture through the store to see their offerings. My seven-year olds were with me, and thought it was fabulous that they both could fit in the honkin' huge cart. I sat for a few minutes in a Brady Bunch style lazy boy chair. I wasn't seriously thinking of spending 300 bucks on it, but my decision was definitely a "no" when my son got his leg caught between the chair and the footstool.
After two hours, I escaped with spending $63.10 and for the first time, I questioned the term "organic."

I bought ten packs of organic butter, which was about a buck fifty cheaper per pack (pound) than Whole Foods Market, my main grocery store for perishables. I calculated a $78 annual savings. I was going to buy a bunch of frozen organic vegetables, until I saw that the country of origin was China. I don't know...that just doesn't sit well with me...from Costco.

And I had three dozen organic eggs in my cart---for about fifteen seconds. I was calculating the $400 annual savings (we eat a lot of eggs) we would have by shifting our dollars to Costco. But there was something about the carton. As I examined the packaging, I realized that there wasn't the informative story on it like the ones from the Amish and Mennonites of Farmers' Hen House sold at Whole Foods.

Where's the info about these eggs being from cage-free hens, allowed to go outside, not treated with antibiotics? I realized that for me, being "organic" was not just about the animal's feed being grown without pesticides.  I want them to be well-cared for. I want food to come from real farms, worked by real farmers, and not industrialized factories by folks who could care less about what we put in to our bodies and what we do to the earth.

Have I been duped by good marketing?
Or is there really a difference?

As a Whole Foods shopper since the first store opened in Chicago in March 1993, I know that organic is not a marketing buzz word for them. It's a core value.

Same thing goes for my supplement company, Nutrilite, whose organically grown plant-based supplements have been at its foundation for 77 years. Optimal health and excellent environmental stewardship-- their core values before those phrases were coined.

And the company that bought Nutrilite in the '70s,  Amway, is where I get my laundry and cleaning products. They've been "green" since  they started in 1959 with their first product, a biodegradable soap. They aren't just now getting on the Green Movement bandwagon. The idea of taking care of the earth and not poisoning it and its inhabitants,  is a core value.

I want to support companies whose core values are in alignment with mine. While it's tempting to save $500 a year buying butter and eggs from Costco, the question I must ask myself is: at what cost?

Amway: An Equal-Opportunity Business

In the mail today, amongst all the fun holiday cards and photos, we got the latest copy of Achieve Magazine, Amway's quarterly trade publication.

Inside was page after page highlighting the "Women of Amway." As an Amway Independent Business Owner (IBO) in North America, I was particularly pleased with this focus.

Over the years I have noticed and experienced that there is a segment of the Amway community passionate about empowering men. In and of itself, this is very good and necessary. Unfortunately, and unintentionally, some have done this in such a way that it has disempowered women, hindering them from reaching their full potential as people and as business owners.

Having an unmarried woman as our Amway sponsor, actively building her business, has been a helpful example that the  Amway business is an opportunity to all. And it's crucial that the corporation continue sending the message to all IBOs and prospective IBOs that women can--and already do--play a vital role in building Amway businesses.

How fitting to have Holly Chen with her husband, Barry Chi, on this cover. They currently hold the highest achievement level in North America with 70 FAA points (which basically means they have a honkin' huge, highly profitable business). In addition, as they have helped thousands of people make lots of money, they have achieved high pins in other Amway markets around the world, including China, Taiwan, Hong Kong and New Zealand.

Why is it fitting? Because Holly started the Amway business on her own. After she met Barry, he joined her. And while he was satisfied when they hit the Diamond level in 1986, Holly was not. So she has continued to be the one to take center stage, and take their business to where it is today.

This is the third time in 20 months that Holly and Barry have appeared on the cover of Achieve, each featuring a new level of accomplishment.

From Achieve's April 2009 issue, "If you want to learn about building a successful Amway Global business, just watch Holly Chen and Barry Chi in action. Holly is an amazing leader, mentoring groups of Crown Diamond, Double Diamond and Executive Diamond IBOs. Barry is a talented trainer, teaching them how to improve retail sales. Together, they are a force. We are fortunate to have them on our team."

They are examples of using one's passions and strengths, regardless of gender, to get the job done. How they have built their business is directly opposite the gender roles that all too many organizations have long imposed on couples--hubby shows the business opportunity and mentors while wifey focuses on retail.

Given the fact that other direct-selling business opportunities are women-centric, I understand why some in the Amway community wish to focus heavily on men. On top of that, Amway was founded as a partnership of two men--Rich DeVos and Jay Van Andel.

Against that backdrop, then, it's especially important, and timely, that Amway has directed the spotlight squarely on Holly and Barry's business. Their story is a powerfully eloquent reminder that a successful Amway business is possible to anyone willing to do the work.

Amway Australia...You GET It.

This video from Amway Australia captures in two minutes how social media is the new word of mouth to the n'th degree.

No Turning Off Your True Self When You're Online

Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill

‎"When it comes to technology in general, and social networking in particular, the heart is simply revealed."

--excerpted from a piece by Mark Driscoll in the Washington Post.

While he is responding specifically to one issue of  Facebook and adultery, Driscoll's statement addresses a much broader issue relevant to us all.

‎"Impatient, angry people post flame-throwing statements in haste.

Boastful, narcissistic people post statements and photos constantly to ensure we do not ignore them.

Dissident troublemakers post trolling inflammatory comments, seeking to have the same effect as a hose on a bees' nest.

And the perverted pursue illicit connections, including adultery, as they enjoy posting and seeing sexualized photos and statements."

I can attest to the truth of those words, especially having actively engaged on the 'Net on different platforms over the past few years. My online dialogues with a wide spectrum of people have ranged from MySpace (just who is on there anymore?), Facebook  and YouTube to Twitter  and a wide variety of forums and blogs.

In that time, I've engaged in diverse (and hot-button) topics such as Amway, homeschooling, politics, religion, sports, family and money.

Are we all entitled to the occasional "off" day, in which we respond in a way that doesn't reflect our authentic self? Absolutely. But what is the pattern of how we engage with the world--both online and offline?

Years ago, I thought it was a given topic that caused people to respond in a certain way. But through engaging online with hundreds of people from many different walks of life, I've witnessed undeniable, and all too predictable, patterns emerge.

Driscoll's diagnosis puts into words what I've come to firmly believe: cyber-behavior truly is a matter of the heart.

Amway's Flawed 'Forever Pin' Practice

As I’ve chronicled around the Net over the past few years, there are many aspects of the Amway Business that I greatly appreciate and admire.

However, I have never been a fan of the Corporation’s practice that once you achieve a certain level of success in the business, you retain that title for the rest of your life. This is regardless of whether you maintain that level or drop off the face of the Earth.

Until yesterday, I had never seen anything in print about their practice. And now that Amway has explained the reasoning, in writing, my disappointment has deepened.



Over at a new blog, Amway Answers, here’s how the rationale is explained:

“In a way, we liken it to someone who has won an Oscar earned a Nobel Prize or even a Master of Business Administration degree. Similar to the presidency, these titles aren’t stripped away the year after new winners are chosen or a person graduates and no longer attends classes. It’s an achievement that stays with one for a lifetime.”

Comparing building a business to earning a degree is missing the boat. I can study the Amway Business, any business, and know it on a theoretical level, just as I studied my field for my college degree. But as we all know: There is a big difference between knowing and doing.

The other comparisons make no sense because with the Presidency, the Oscar winner, and a Nobel Prize recipient, it is understood that it’s only for a moment in time. In those worlds, there is only one slot to fill each year/term. Not so in the Amway Business.

If you are going to use that type of criteria, then Amway would need to say, “Diamond, 2005” or “Emerald, 1999-2008,” as examples.

“Allowing Amway distributors to earn – and keep – their pins is a form of non-monetary leadership recognition.”

This is a description of positional leadership--the lowest level of leadership. Positional leadership is used to describe the “Do as I say because I’m the boss, I have the title, I outrank you” way of leading. It is not true, influential leadership. It is the antithesis of how successful, long-term, pass-the-torch, Amway Businesses are built.

“It shows others what they, too, can achieve.”

Most people in and outside the world of Amway are under the mistaken impression that if someone is called a Ruby, then they currently have a Ruby business. If they have been referred to as a Diamond for the last 20 years, then they have had a Diamondship for 20 years.

So because of this Flawed Forever Pin Practice (F2P2), distributors have a distorted picture of what “achievement” means.

"People who’ve reached these levels of recognition are qualified to teach and inspire others to do the same.”

To do the same… what? Under Amway’s F2P2, one has to maintain a certain level for a mere six months to garner a life-long title.

I can understand a grace period of a year or maybe even two. But a Diamond, or any pin status, being conferred upon someone forever, without any timeline clarification, is disingenuous. If Amway were transparent on this topic, most of the bad business practices would go away.



Having so much attention placed on only achieving a pin:

*diminishes the integrity of that pin.

*makes asking “Are you a currently qualified Diamond, Emerald, Ruby?” seem disrespectful, with a don’t-ask-don’t-tell vibe to it.

* allows some currently non-qualifying pins, who are maintaining the illusion of being a current such-and-such to persist in deception. And their (positional) leadership with their organization is bad.

Bad for the people in their organization, bad for Amway, and bad for distributors who are upfront about their current level of achievement.

*has a chilling effect on those distributors who want to be honest. As an example, if I say something about my business, I am also saying something about my Upline’s business. If I give details about my current qualification, then I am (since my Upline’s pin level is based on my pin level) also revealing details about my Upline’s business.

*leads to some unstable “strategies” distributors have come up with in building their businesses simply to hit a high pin once, in order to achieve a coveted title.

*places undue and unhealthy emphasis on recognition rather than on things that should matter in a business, like profit and long-term income.

I’d rather have a stable Rubyship for decades, than a Diamondship that spans only a few years. But with the F2P2, Amway, intentionally or not, has trained us all to value the Diamond over the Ruby—regardless of their respective stability. And in doing so, Amway is damaging the DNA necessary for its long-term viability.

The Power Brands--Artistry and Nutrilite

This is Part Three of our visit to the Welcome Center at Amway. Here is Amway Visit Part One and Amway Visit Part Two.

We then headed over to the Artistry section. It was a highlight of my visit. I really wanted to use this machine.
First, you want to sit comfortably on that black stool, unlike me. Then you rest your chin inside, close your eyes, and it takes five flash images. Within a minute or two, the computer screen displays your skin analysis. So cool!

Next we moved over to the Nutrilite section.
"By growing, harvesting, and processing plants on its own certified organic farms, Nutrilite is able to include a wide array of high-quality plant nutrients in its products."

Lots of information on the oldest (76 years) and largest ($3 billion in annual sales) global supplement company.

Lots of information on health and what factors (air, hydration, diet, lifestyle choices) contribute to the aging process.

My kids' favorite display was learning how a Nutrilite tablet is made, because at the end, you pull the lever and a gold coin pops out. They did it four times, giggling each time, before mamma had to distract them and get us all out of there before the Amway police were called.

The Best Way to Predict the Future Is to Invent It.

This is Part Two of our visit to the Welcome Center at Amway. Here is Amway Visit Part One.

After The Ripple Effect, the lights came up, the screen disappeared in to the ceiling, and the wall behind it opened up vertically (kind of like Star Trek) to reveal a whole bunch of displays.

This one is loaded with video about manufacturing and R&D.

This wall is dedicated to Amway's One by One Campaign for Children.

It's incredible the millions of lives impacted by this program. And it's not just about the  money Amway gives ($112 million to date), though that's very important. It's also the volunteer hours (1.3 billion to date) contributed by employees and IBOs, ABOs, and Distributors since the program launched in 2003.

For current outreach, I keep up to date with Amway's One by One blog.

In the glass window on the left, are  various products on a conveyor belt. And that's my daughter checking out some Artistry skin care products she'll be using in a decade.

This display gives the 51-year history of Amway. You manually slide the screen across the decades.  Then you can choose a specific year within that decade to see what noteworthy events occurred in Amway's past.

And while Amway honors their  past, that is not their focus. The quote above the timeline says,

"The best way to predict the future is to invent it." ~Alan Kay

(to be continued...)  Amway Visit Part Three

Our Day at Amway: The Ripple Effect

On Wednesday, on our way back from Family Camp in Newaygo, Michigan, we stopped by Amway Corporation. After visiting, all too briefly, with some old and new friends, including all from The Amway Insider, we popped in at the World Headquarters Welcome Center.
On the second floor are the doors leading to Amway's President Doug DeVos and Chairman Steve Van Andel's offices.

Steve, just a few minutes earlier, had been touring the Welcome Center with some guests. While I would have liked to have met him, I'm glad we missed him. My kids were on a major sugar high from all the goodies Beth Dornan gave them, so he was spared their singing and dancing around the lobby.

Below, carved in to glass, with water cascading over these pillars, are the founding principles of the Amway Corporation.

FREEDOM - FAMILY - HOPE - REWARD

Amway supports the fundamental FREEDOM of people to determine their own future, allowing them the time and resources to protect and nurture their FAMILY. Offering HOPE to individuals and the opportunity to receive REWARD in proportion to their efforts.

The Leadership wing of the Welcome Center acknowledges the distributors, IBOs, and ABOs from the 80-plus countries and territories where Amway operates around the world.

Along the walls are screens that one can search Diamonds and above by Market or by Pin Level.

The kids got comfortable in the 70-seat theatre

and we watched The Ripple Effect, a  five-minute visual story. Our lives form ripples. Our actions and decisions and words do affect others. What kind of ripples are you creating?



(to be continued...) Amway Visit Part Two

Are Your "Peanuts" Bio-degradable?

Because I failed to educate an eco-conscious customer on the the high volume of "evil" peanuts she would be receiving with her recent order, I nearly induced a mini-heart attack.

Here is my short (74 seconds) Green Public Service Announcement, designed to heighten awareness and avoid unnecessarily filling our landfills. Pass it on!

What's a Way to Shock People?

Tell them you have an Amway Business.

This video from our Australian market made me smile, and laugh out loud. I've had more than one person in my life, knowing who I am, knowing my past and current accomplishments, knowing my character, have this same response.

After a while, I realized that their response has nothing to do with me, and everything to do with their preconceived notions about Amway and "Amway people."

Fun-ny.


Libby is a triple Gold Olympic Medalist (with a Silver and a couple of Bronzes thrown in there as well).

Thanks IBOFB at The Truth About Amway for posting this.

An Ode to Soap

Most people think of soap when they hear "Amway." And they are right, sort of. Almost 50 years ago the very first Amway product was a soap, Liquid Organic Cleaner. Amway was “green” before the term even existed.

However, I’m not very passionate about soap. Don’t get me wrong. Now that I have children and actually clean my home, I am very appreciative of the cleaners.

What I am passionate about is great health. People want to feel good, they want to have energy and vitality. And I believe that physical ailments, which prevent people from feeling good and energized, are directly related to what they put in their bodies.

That’s why the two product categories I use and promote the most are Health and Beauty.

When I say “beauty” I’m actually concerned about the health of one’s skin. So what you put on your skin —including skin care products and cosmetics—affects the health of your largest organ.

Nutrilite and Artistry are the two brands that the corporation is promoting in their national ad campaign. This makes good business sense, since both are at the top of their industries and generate more than 60% of Amway’s almost $7 billion annual revenues.

Here's the one-minute commercial:



A couple of weeks ago I attended the National Spotlight for Amway Global/Quixtar at McCormick Place in Chicago. The expo was 40,000 square feet. (To put that in perspective, a football field is about 48,000 square feet.)

Artistry and Nutrlite dominated the area, with XS Energy Drink having a sizable booth in the Nutrlite area.

And tucked in a corner, like crazy but lovable Uncle Charlie in the basement, not measuring more than 10' x 15' was the “Soap” section, aka Home Care. Not sexy. Not hip. But reliable green cleaners.

The guys in lab coats were demonstrating the L.O.C. Kitchen Cleaner, which kicked the crud out of 409. And they also had the SA8 Laundry Detergent on display next to Tide.



What’s in Tide to create all that cloudiness?



Notice the serving size of Tide.




And all the lovely residue left on the Tide clothes.

Hey, come to think of it...most of the time we are wearing clothing...and clothing sits right next to our bodies, our skin. So maybe SA8 should be in the Health category since skin is our largest organ, and what we put on it has an effect on health.

Hmmm...Someone call Marketing!